


you're the thing that i can't quit

by merlypops



Category: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
Genre: (some dialogue is taken directly from the book and therefore belongs to john flanagan), Attempt at Humor, Best Friends, Crack if I'm being honest with myself, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Hand Jobs, Horace has an ulterior motive, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Set during The Siege of Macindaw, Silly, Smut, Will is tired of Horace's shit, Willace, but they're actually in love, i am willace trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 00:46:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8512243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: “You’ve never got me off in chainmail before,” Horace said suddenly, his voice breathless as he tucked his face away into the warm skin of Will’s neck, hiding his grin. “This is new.”“Well, don’t get too used to it,” the Ranger said firmly, trying hard to keep the smile out of his voice as he blushed faintly. “I’m only doing it now because your constant whining was becoming tedious. I needed a break from the monotony.”
  Will and Horace are hiding under the cart. Horace won’t shut up and Will finds a better way to keep him quiet.
Based on "Vapor" by 5 Seconds Of Summer.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Unholy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unholy/gifts).



> because Marlon is great and I've had this idea for ages, and I kind of promised her I'd write smut for this fandom. Fingers crossed it's not terrible.
> 
> Yes, I wrote smut for The Ranger’s Apprentice.  
> Yes, I’m a little bit ashamed of myself.  
> (Yes, I’m probably going to do it again.)

It was cold and damp in Norgate Fief, but it was especially bad beneath the overturned cart. The pair of them had been sitting there for almost eight hours now and a horrible mixture of melted snow, saturated grass, and mud was seeping unpleasantly into Will’s woollen leggings.

The Skandians were long gone now and Will could tell Horace was getting bored without their company. Will was trying to distract himself though, focused less on how his standard issue Ranger’s cloak wasn’t doing much to keep the chill out and more on their plan as he huddled up motionless in the shadows.

The Ranger kept his eyes shut, steadfastly ignoring the young knight who was growing restless across from him. Will tried to doze, aware that there were still hours left before they could begin their attack on the castle, but the strange mixture of anticipation and boredom in his veins prevented him from falling asleep.

Opposite him, Horace continued to shift uncomfortably and sigh at frequent intervals. Will was still ignoring him and Horace was growing irritated now, ensuring that his feet caught Will’s shins whenever he moved on the off chance that it might gain a reaction from the Ranger. Will was too well-trained for that though and – despite the fact that he would probably _really_ enjoy smearing a handful of mud into the knight’s face right now – the Ranger stayed unmoving.

Horace sighed again, much more loudly this time, and when he adjusted his position and accidentally elbowed the wooden side of the cart, Will finally opened his dark eyes to glare at his best friend.

“It’s a pity you didn’t bring a trumpet,” Will said coolly. “That way you could make a bit more noise.”

Horace tried to glare at him but his lips curved upwards anyway now that the Ranger had finally broken the silence and it was hard to keep the smile from touching Will’s lips. His best friend might be irritating and churlish when he was bored but there was something almost endearing about it all the same.

“What I don’t get is why we didn’t run the cart out here now, instead of doing it hours ago? We could have waited comfortably in the trees until nightfall, then run out, lost the wheel and had only an hour or so to wait for Malcolm's monsters. It would have been much less boring than crouching here all afternoon and into the night."

Will fixed Horace with a hard stare. They’d already discussed this in great detail and everyone had agreed that this was best. With the cart in place so early, the soldiers on the ramparts of Castle Macindaw would no longer be suspicious of it. They would think they had nothing to fear of it. In fact, they might even be _bored_ of it and that was what Will was really hoping for.

“It’s supposed to be boring,” he said sharply, trying (and failing) not to snap. “That’s the idea.”

“You want to be bored?” Horace asked and Will resisted the urge to explode with poorly-suppressed irritation.

“No!” Will whisper-shouted, his expression angry as he shook his head in disbelief. His cheeks were flaming red now and Horace smiled thinly as he settled back more comfortably against the wall of the cart. His work here was done. Will was annoyed and that meant he was going to make conversation – barbed or not – which would be a great way of passing the time.

Horace took that moment to sneeze violently and Will flinched at how ridiculously _loud_ the sound was. The knight flushed and hid his face behind his hands but it was too late. The Ranger crawled closer with a furious expression on his face and Horace worried for a moment that Will was going to stab him with his saxe knife.

“Will you shut up?!” Will hissed and Horace smiled wryly despite himself. Will looked good when he was angry – Horace had always thought that – and it was no different now. The Ranger’s chocolate brown eyes were sparkling and his cheeks were flushed, and he kept biting his bottom lip in irritation. Horace possibly wanted to bite it for him.

“I’m sorry,” the knight said with a shrug. “I sneezed. A person can’t help it when they sneeze.”

“Perhaps not,” Will said coolly as he finally came to a stop, almost nose-to-nose with Horace in the dim light. “But you could try to make it sound a little less like an elephant trumpeting in agony.”

Horace flushed with righteous indignation as he decided that he was most definitely _not_ going to take that lying down. He was a knight and Will could bloody well act like it… at least when Horace’s sneezes were taken into consideration.

“And of course, you’d know what an elephant sounds like!” Horace said grumpily. “Have you ever heard an elephant?”

“No,” Will said, completely brazen as he scowled up at the taller man. “But I'm sure it couldn't be any louder than that sneeze.”

“I told you, I can’t help it!” Horace argued. “I have allergies probably! And I’m sitting in snow! _Snow_. You have no idea how cold I am! I’ll probably never feel warm _again_ –”

“Oh, I’m just as cold as you are! Shut up!” Will snapped.

“Make me!” Horace countered before blushing scarlet as the Ranger tilted his head to one side curiously.

“… Did you really just say that, Horace?” Will asked after a slight pause, one dark eyebrow rising in wry amusement. The knight shrugged, incredibly unashamed.

“I think perhaps I did, Will.”

The smaller man rolled his eyes in reply but it was impossible to smother the fondness he felt as he surged forwards to close the gap between them. Horace seemed incapable of not making annoyingly loud noises so Will would have to see what he could do about that; maybe if he kept Horace’s mouth busy, they might actually remain undiscovered.

Horace’s lips were warm and soft against his, his mouth tasting faintly of the coffee the pair of them had been drinking earlier in the day. Horace’s cool fingers curled happily through Will’s dark curls and the smaller man hummed contentedly as he cupped Horace’s jaw carefully, slowing the kiss down.

Will couldn’t deny how much he enjoyed being close to Horace like this. He just couldn’t quite work out _why_.

The ground was freezing through his cloak when Horace found himself sliding down onto his back but he couldn’t _quite_ bring himself to care when Will settled down warm over him, his mouth a hot slide as he smiled against the taller man’s lips.

“Are you still angry with me?” Horace asked innocently and Will huffed out a breathless laugh as the knight’s hand slid teasingly down his chest to ease inside his tunic.

“I’m finding it… increasingly hard,” Will admitted, making them both giggle like children.

“I did that,” Horace said proudly. Will kissed him on the nose.

“You’re an idiot, Horace,” Will murmured, not meaning the words even for a moment as Horace’s arm wrapped warm around the smaller man’s waist, holding him closer. Horace’s other hand had slipped inside Will’s leggings now and the smaller man bit his lip hard to keep from groaning.

“I’m _your_ idiot though,” Horace said reasonably and… yeah, Will could probably live with that.

He scattered kisses across the taller warrior’s jaw as he reached to clumsily unbuckle Horace’s belt in the darkness. He unlaced the taller man’s breeches and eased his hand inside, and the knight jerked in shock at Will’s cold hands. The Ranger was smirking and Horace raised an eyebrow at him, forcing himself to appear as calm as possible. Two could play at that game, he decided, and when he rolled them over so that Will was lying with his back pressed to the snowy grass, Horace felt quite smug at the little squeak that escaped Will, (at least until the smaller man bit his lip in retaliation).

“That hurt,” Horace said but he was smiling anyway and his hand kept moving ceaselessly. A flush was rising in Will’s cheeks now and he was panting softly, his chocolate brown eyes sparkling in the shadows as a smile curled unconsciously over his pale face.

“Sorry,” Will said, completely shameless. He sort of wanted to let out a nervous giggle at their current predicament but that might be too loud; he didn’t want the sentries to hear them. Everything else aside, if someone came to investigate _now_ , Will figured it would just be ridiculously awkward for everyone.

“You’ve never got me off in chainmail before,” Horace said suddenly, his voice breathless as he tucked his face away into the warm skin of Will’s neck, hiding his grin. “This is new.”

“Well, don’t get too used to it,” the Ranger said firmly, trying hard to keep the smile out of his voice as he blushed faintly. “I’m only doing it now because your constant whining was becoming tedious. I needed a break from the monotony.”

“Yeah, _that’s_ what you needed,” Horace said senselessly.

Will let out another huff of breathless laughter and Horace grinned, proud of himself for cheering his best friend up from the grumpy mood he’d settled into. Will stuck his tongue out at him and Horace rolled his soft green eyes fondly, looking remarkably pleased with himself as he tightened his grip, drawing a ragged gasp out of Will as his eyes fluttered shut for a second, too overcome with pleasure.

“Do you feel warm yet?” Will asked but the sarcasm colouring his tone was ruined by how winded he sounded. Horace snorted, flushing redder as he remembered his earlier declaration.

“Maybe,” he said in a tone of forced disdain. “But we should probably keep going just in case.”

Will smiled up at him but it was all teeth.

“You say that like we had any intention of stopping,” the Ranger pointed out and Horace nodded his head, willing to accept that.

“That’s a good point.”

“It _has_ been said,” Will teased in a voice of false modesty but there were two points of colour high in his cheeks now and his hand curled into a fist in the back of Horace’s cloak as he held him tightly. The taller man was still wearing his chainmail under the thick material and the weight was pressing Will down into the damp grass but he couldn’t say he minded; having Horace lying over him like that actually made him feel strangely _safe_ but Will was too far gone to question it now.

His grip had slackened at the pleasure coursing through him and Horace grumbled good-naturedly, reaching down between them and batting Will’s limp hand aside before he took both of them in his fist instead. Will fought down against the whimper that wanted to escape him, proud that he was so good at being quiet. Halt would be proud –

Actually, no, scratch that. Halt would _not_ be proud; Halt would be emotionally scarred. Also, Will was fairly certain his mentor didn’t bear thinking about during situations such as this. (Will hoped he’d never make that mistake again.)

“ _Horace_ ,” Will gasped out unthinkingly and the knight fixed him with a curious look although he didn’t slow down, clearly wondering why Will had suddenly stopped worrying at the amount of noise he was making. “Please –”

Horace hurriedly leant closer, capturing Will’s mouth with a hint of desperation as he deepened the kiss. Will’s moan was muffled but at least he was quiet now; Horace figured Will would probably be pretty proud of him for managing to stay so sensible. Then again, Horace had caused this with his ridiculous sneezing and dramatic sighs.

Maybe Will wouldn’t be too proud after all.

The smaller man was trembling now, fingers threading through Horace’s wavy brown hair as he anchored him there. Will’s eyes had long since fallen shut and his face was tucked away safely beneath Horace’s chin as he pressed hot open-mouthed kisses to the sensitive skin there.

At least the sarcastic remarks had stopped now, Horace reasoned with himself as the heat in his stomach threatened to set alight. He didn’t mind the vaguely witty comments really though; Horace honestly couldn’t think of anyone he would rather have by his side than Will and he was fairly certain his best friend felt the same.

When Will murmured his name and pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, Horace became sure of it.

His heart clenched in his chest as he cuddled the smaller man closer with his free hand and, in that moment, the knight thought he might be halfway in _love_ with his best friend.

Finally, the constant pleasure proved to be too much for Will.

He came apart beneath Horace with a soft whimper, shuddering through his orgasm as he bit his moan into Horace’s throat, the sharp sting of pleasure-pain igniting the heat coiling in the knight’s stomach.

Horace fell apart with a slightly strangled cry which quickly became a panicked squawk when he realised how loud he’d been. His cheeks flamed hotter than ever and he glanced down at Will guiltily, hanging his head like a sad puppy when he saw that Will had buried his head in his hands in despair.

Horace knew he couldn’t deny it anymore.

He really _was_ particularly loud.

Up on the ramparts of Castle Macindaw, the sentries standing guard exchanged worried glances with each other.

“Did you hear that?” one of them asked, his expression almost fearful as he peered past the ruined cart towards the dark snarl of trees.

“It sounded like an animal,” the other man said hesitantly. “In pain.”

“A _big_ animal,” the first agreed uncomfortably.

Fortunately for the Ranger and the knight, neither of the sentries connected the strange sound with the ruined cart. They assumed it came from Grimsdell Wood instead.

The first sentry shook his head slowly, shooting the dark tangle of trees an uneasy look.

“God knows what goes on in that forest.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god, I think I'm so funny but I'm not.
> 
> But thank you for reading! :D  
> Please let me know what you thought because I'm worried this was appalling :')


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